For many years i have been telling myself not to grant any value to the things i gathered during my life, i actually wanted to sell all and or throw it away.
I really dont know how the idea came to me, but i was watching a painter who shows his work and how he loved landscapes, but also is a hunter, so he paints deer and very good, as a matter of fact this painter is very famous and in the UK they call him the dutch master, he makes very beautifull paintings, but the remarkeble issue is, he shoots deer, while he loves them most of all.
That made me think, how is that possible and suddenly it got to me, one is able to detach, to not feel, to stay froozen when nessecairy, to be able to have full feelings just because of it, that is a wonderfull thaught.
What happened with me having the idea one has to detach i will tell u in the coming story , so maybe it explains why.
So, i was out of my body for a few minutes and family around my bed was told maybe i would not make it, after a week i sort of woke up and then i knew, i was in a wonderfull place, so my reaction was, i dont want to live, i want to go back there, there and then the idea of not being attached to anything started and maybe it is a natural reaction, certainly when i was in my deepest depressing thaughts.
And now 9 years later i find it back, the source of enjoy on earth, enjoyment looking at nature, details everywhere in the town i live, on the old houses, ornaments, beautifull doors, porches, canals, bridges, people and the flowers and plants some ppl grow in tiny gardens in front of their house, it makes Amsterdam sweet and colorfull and so very enjoyeble..
This could be a way back to being more alife, more enjoyment and even more views on anything, thaughts, way of life, even judgements.
In the end of this year i will come back on this and update this experience, who knows it did do the right thing towards being able to be happy, enjoy and more earthly view, after all, thats where i am.